the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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