whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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