you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
