Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
