how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
