Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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