I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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