Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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