He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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