i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
