Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
