dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
