Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
