the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
