The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
