God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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