Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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