no, he came in my armpit
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
