umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
