you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You are a genius and a whore.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
