Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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