hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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