Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
