I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Randomize
