the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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