Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
