That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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