I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
