put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
