oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
