we have officially lost it.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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