found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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