So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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