you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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