I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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