my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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