He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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