she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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