So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
