Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
