Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
