i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
