This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
