I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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