its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How does it feel to date your dad?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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