A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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