i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
