this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
