yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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