fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize