I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
