PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
