i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
PANTIES FOUND
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