My first STD was from a foam party
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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