Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
